you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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