she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Drunk is not a location!
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
