don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I think I sprained my soul last night
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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