Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
