My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
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