So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
how do flat chested girls get laid?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
