i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
