He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
