Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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