You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
