it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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