dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
