life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize