I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
