Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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