I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Randomize