Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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