The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
