I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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