We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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