Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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