You're so nebulous sometimes
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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