No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
My vagina is officially offended.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Randomize
