I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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