I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
