Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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