I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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