got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize