I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Shitshow foam night was such a success
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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