mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Where did you get a picture of my penis
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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