wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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