I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize