And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
