He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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