hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize