And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize