I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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