There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Randomize
