I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Randomize