he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Text me some of your sweat
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
