Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
