You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
