But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
