The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
