actually, I'm a sock model
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
