Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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