Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
