So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
