i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
