How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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