apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
