so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
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