shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
