Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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