i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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