How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
