There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
What did we do last night that was yellow?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
