Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
