I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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