And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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