New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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