Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i came on her dog
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
