Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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