if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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