I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
