no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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