She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Randomize
