Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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