I met the friendliest cop last night
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
