i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i came on her dog
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
