So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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