great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
