Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize