i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
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