I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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