i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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