just tell him i said nine months
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
