why didn't you poke me back
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
