watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
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