he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
