So drunk its hurt
Betty ford says i'm here all night
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
