epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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